In my continuing theme of being the human version of grumpy cat, I’m making a Thankful, Not Thankful list. Following the general idea behind “Sorry, not sorry” here are a list of things I’m sort of thankful for, but which can also go fuck themselves. Feel free to join in!
Lila’s Thankful, Not Thankful List
I’m thankful for… Public transportation. Good for the environment, keeps me from paying for parking, etc. But the guy driving the eastbound 38 bus who BLEW by me yesterday can go straight to hell. Yes, I was sitting down. I’m fat and it was early!
I’m thankful for… Iron pills. How amazing that there’s a simple pill that you can use to combat anemia. But seriously fuck your side effects. Fuck ‘em.
I’m thankful for… Baby Information. I have what 50 years ago would have been unheard of access information about what’s going on with my body and the baby. But fuck some of these books and apps. You’re freaking me out. I do not want to know that there are people out there who had the same due date as me who have already delivered premie babies. It’s making me paranoid and weird. Okay, weirder.
I’m thankful for… Sales. My mom and I love to sit around and look at holiday sales flyers, plan out gifts for people, and then make a great “adventure” out of going shopping. But now retailers can suck it. It used to be fun and slightly entertaining to try and be someplace at 7am on Black Friday, standing outside with other turkey filled people drinking hot chocolate. You open at 5pm on Thanksgiving? Screw you I’m not going shopping at all.
I’m thankful for… All my friends. From amazing readers to my IH girls, you all are awesome. But…some of you are seriously cracked in the head. Like, for real, your ass is cray cray.
Here’s the blurb “C is for…” coming very, very soon.
C is for…
The A, B, Cs have never been so sexy.
Beth is the perfect sub: quiet, obedient, and well trained. After years of membership in LA’s most exclusive BDSM club she’s served many of the most demanding masters and mistresses…and she’s bored.
James is a committed Dom who enjoys nothing more than a bratty sub he can “punish” until they’re both satisfied. The last thing he wants is a serious submissive.
Beth is on the verge of leaving the club when she’s paired with Master James as part of the BDSM checklist game. They’re both surprised to find that the hyper-obedient Beth is hiding the true depth of her submission, and James will have to decide if he’s willing to break his own rules to give Beth what she needs.
Normally I love the Holidays. Really I love anything with a theme that I can explore. Theme birthday parties, any kind of shower, conference events and holidays are all just begging for me to go wild on pinterest in preparation for some hard core crafting, baking, sewing, etc.
Normally I cannot fathom people who don’t get into the Holidays (or anything else for that matter). Why would anyone pass up the opportunity to expend time and energy on awesomeness?
Well, friends who normally grit your teeth to get through it, this year please count me among your numbers this year. I will cheerfully take off my shoe and beat a “Happy Holidays” wishing retail worker to death. Seriously. This might get violent.
For the Americans reading this, you have my deepest sympathies that Thanksgiving is only a few short days away. For everyone else, those who don’t have Thanksgiving to act as an (ineffective) speed bump before the season really hits, you have my sympathy that you’re already down in it.
You know what this week needs? Smutty, smutty books. Here’s a sneak peak at a book I have coming out soon. Very, very soon.